We can now see the proverbial ‘light at the end of the tunnel.” I only have two more rounds of chemotherapy to go. That having been said, however, I am a bit concerned about long lasting complications stemming from the use of the drug Oxaliplatin. The platinum has so damaged my nerves that Dr. Bernard thought it wise to cut the amount I am receiving in half and receive an infusion of calcium and magnesium before and after my chemotherapy. (This tacks two full hours on to an already long day.) Usually, the damage done to one’s nerves is not permanent. There are those “(un)lucky few,” though, who have permanent neuropathy from its usage. Those of you that truly know me realize how I tend to epitomize the old “Hee Haw” standard, “Gloom, Despair, and Agony On Me.” In other words, if bad luck is to be had, I am typically the one who has it. 
I can think of several health concerns about which I was told that only 1 in 100,000 actually contracted it (e.g. pyoderma gangrenosum) and, yet, I was that “1.” I don’t mean to sound pessimistic about this. I think I’m prejudiced by the fact that cutting the Oxaliplatin in half hasn’t produced the effect for which I was looking. Perhaps I need only patience and time. I trust that all of the many prayers going up on my behalf will eventually demonstrate this.
After the chemotherapy is completed, I will see Dr. Bernard again on November 4, 2010, to set up CT scan appointments. Hopefully, these will show me to be completely cancer free. Dr. Bernard thought it wise to schedule an appointment with the GI Surgeon, Dr. Sadiq, at this time also, as my immune system should be strong enough to enable me to have another surgery if needed. Remember, I still have about 6 inches of my colon/rectum left. Currently, it drains and adds to my difficulties. Initially, it was hoped that a resectioning of the bowel would be possible. I believe, however, that those plans were quickly abandoned when the surgeon saw the condition of my colon in May, 2010. I suppose that I could be scoped to see if the “rectal stump” (their words, not mine) was viable and capable of being resectioned. Even so, I currently weigh too much to undergo such a surgery. As things are now, there would be insufficient length to my small intestine to go the distance needed to be resectioned within an obese person’s abdominal cavity. Thus, I would have to loose a lot of weight and any surgery would be postponed for that needed interim. To be honest, I think I would reject such measures anyway unless they could assure me that a resectioning would not lead to colon cancer again down the road. Why leave something in that will only produce more cancer and lead to further chemotherapy? Removal of the aforementioned “rectal stump” would not require such special measures and could be done almost immediately. I would require only sufficient time for incisions to heal and for healing to occur where sphincter muscle would be removed. I’ve grown accustomed to my ileostomy, with its special needs, and am bothered by it only in regards to the cost that such ileostomy supplies necessitate. Why further complicate my life? People with various ostomies live many years now and that is a better life than a shortened, cancer-ridden life.
Sometime next year, most likely in March, Dr, Hansen, my GI doctor, would like to do a scope of my small intestine to ensure that Crohn’s disease has not infiltrated the small bowel. I ask prayers even now that when such is done that I will be Crohn’s free.
As I previously stated, 2010 has been a lousy year for me in many respects. I will shed no tears at its passing and will rejoice if God grants humanity with a 2011. I suppose that a part of me will always wonder, “what if,” in regards to what may have been had 2010 unfolded differently. I reckon that is human nature. I suppose that in some alternate reality in the multiverse, I never contracted cancer and I accomplished many wonderful things. I suppose that such a possibility is best left to the debate of theologians and the adherents of quantum theory and is not worth my hypothesizing within this note. Besides, even if such were remotely possible, I could not live there as God has placed me here within this time and reality.
Thank you all for your love and support. I certainly couldn’t have made it without you. To God be all glory and praise, now and forevermore.
Tags: Chemotherapy
